Look out Captain Hook. Move over Jack Sparrow. Hell, even the obscure former Pittsburgh Pirate Mike Lavalliere better step aside. The Somalia Pirates are in town. No, they are not after your gold, they are after your...cruise ship?
Did I miss the memo about pirates re-introducing themselves as modern day villains? Seriously, there are PIRATES on the open sea that are attacking sovereign ships. Ships carrying freight, ships carrying imports, and most recently ships carrying vacationers. Why would these "Pirates" (arrr!) want to hijack a cruise liner? Are hawiian shirts and ugly sovenior mugs worth alot of money these days?
What ever happened to the routine armed robbery, ya know, where you didn't have to do it with a patch on your eye and a jewel-emblazoned sword. Hasn't criminality advanced beyond this archaic idea of "pirates" by now? Reading about these modern day Pirates makes me long for the good ol' days when robbers used ski masks and a 9 millimeter Glock.
And the media outlets are not even mentioning how these pirates of the high seas are defaming the great baseball organization, the Pittsburgh Pirates. I picture poor Mike LaValliere, or "spanky" as he was often referred, trying to simply buy a loaf of bread at the store only to be refused the sale because he use to be a Pirate. It's not even Mike LaValliere that's been affected by these so-called Pirates, think about former Pittsburgh Pirate Barry Bonds. He tried to rob the home run record from Hank Aaron and now he's being dragged through the performance enhancing mud.
So, for all the Somali Pirate readers that follow my blog, please drop the "pirate" label from your activities. Real Pirates are feeling the affects of your random hijackings. If you are looking for a group name that represents stealing, pillaging, and fleecing, then I recommend changing your name to "Fannie Mae."
1 comment:
Good to hear from you too, Tom. That Delta video has some NY followed directly by some southern. How I went from look at that bastid to Lordeee, I have no idea. In less than two years, I will have spent more time in the South than I did in NY. Scary.
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